The Scary House by Emma

It was a Halloween Night Ava and Kate were Playing truth or dare with their friends Amy, Ben and Sarah. Sarah said, ‘Kate I dare you to go in an abandoned house with Ave. Kate said, ‘No way Sarah.’

‘Then you’re chicken!’ Everyone started laughing.

‘Fine,’Kate said.

They got to the house it looked a bit over grown and very dusty and old. They went up stairs and there was a note saying, ‘Sorry mom don’t look in the back’.

Ava said ‘let’s go look in the garden.’ Ava screamed and Kate ran out side to see and there was a dead body in a hay bale and a lot of pumpkins. Kate and Ava ran out of the house.

2 thoughts on “The Scary House by Emma”

  1. Hi Emma
    It really is heading to that time of year when Halloween is just around the corner. I like how you associated the photo for this week’s prompt with Halloween. I have to say it was the first thing that popped into my mind when I saw the photo. I also like how you introduced so many elements into your writing at the start as this really got me thinking and wondering what was going to happen next. The game of truth and dare, the abandoned house and the fact that if Kate wouldn’t do the dare she would be considered chicken all set the scene that something dramatic was about to happen. Using a title was a great idea as well as this prepared me that it could be a scary story.

    To make it a bit scarier it would be good if you could add in some tension and suspense
    eg instead of “They got to the house” you might use something like “As darkness fell and the moon peeped out through the trees the children arrived at the house”. It looked a bit overgrown and dusty and old. “They crept slowly towards the stairs and when they eventually reached the top they found a note. Kate whispered as she read it”.

    It’s important to try and think about how your characters might be feeling and that will all add to your writing as you develop your ideas. You have some lovely creative ideas in this 100 word challenge and I really look forward to reading more of your work in the coming year. Well done!!
    Máire O’Keeffe (Team 100wc)
    Galway, Ireland.

  2. Hey Emma i am a kid in 5th grade that will be blogging with you. I just want to say that i loved your story i wish it was longer but i forgot it was a 100 w/c but it was a really good story. I like how you made it a little bit scary but not to scary cause my self i don’t like really scary stories. But the story was good and i really like it my self and if you could have as many words as you want it would be a really good story

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