The Odd Day by Aaron

One morning I was walking to school and I was desperate to play on the football pitch. I was warned not to go through the alleyway, a shortcut to school. I went anyway. While I was walking down the alleyway I found a shiny, yellow bicycle. I looked to see if anyone was around. I saw no one around so I took the bike greedily. I actually just stole someone’s property! When I got to the end of the alleyway the police were there and I got set up. Whoever set me up I will find and destroy you. Hahahahahahahaha!

2 thoughts on “The Odd Day by Aaron”

  1. Hey Aaron. I like the story that you made!! It sounds like it has a lot of action! I see you’ve used the words in my piece, and they work really well. If you could add some more detail in the sentence “I went anyway”, that’d be great!! Are you going to make a part 2 for this story?

  2. Hi there, Aaron! I like some of the phrases in your writing, for instance, I think “desperate to play” is really expressive. The part where the narrator was “set up” seemed to go by so fast, though. I wonder how exactly the narrator was set up and why. Something else I noticed was that you used the short sentence “I went anyway” in a way that makes the narrator seem rebellious, which I thought helped with characterisation. Keep writing!

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