The Mystery Door by Zach

It was a rainy day the clouds were as grey as the lead in a pencil. My mam said “No going outside or your grounded for a week”.

“BANG!” I went to see what made the noise. My mam and dad were in the kitchen and my brother and sister were at are shops. I looked in my room and there it was, a giant vibrant red coloured door. I opened the door and there was an elephant, it was as pink as Peppa Pig. It could talk as well its voice was as quiet as a mouse, it mumbled “my name is Beck.” I asked it to repeat itself it yelled as loud as a thunder storm “MY NAME IS BECK”.

7 thoughts on “The Mystery Door by Zach”

  1. Hi Zach, what a mystery with the red door! I thought it was great how you showed the two different sides of the elephant (the quiet one and the very loud one). I thought it was good too that only the narrator knew what was happening. Some good use of similes helped your story also. Well done.

  2. Hi Zach.
    I like your story because you had loads of phrases.
    I wonder what Beck will do to you or will she lead you somewhere.
    I just really want to read on.

    Bye for now
    Dan
    Mrs Boyces 5th Class

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