I was in Italy and bored, I decided to visit the iron figure. It was a 45 minute drive. So I got the bus at closest bus stop. The bus came, I got on and listened to music. We got they’re quicker then expected. There were a lot of tourists and the iron figure was soo sparkly and cool. A man suddenly came and started to grab the iron figure. The security guards and I tried to catch but he couldn’t I looked the down the other corner way and the Police came and cornered the man and flipped him and took the iron figure back and the police saved the day.
Hi Matthew! Your story was very interesting and very actioned packed. I think one thing you could work on is maybe adding some commas to your story. I think it can help your story out a whole lot! But other than that, your story was perfect! Have a good day ~Sophie
I really like the storyline, Mabey you could add a bit more details. I liked that most of the time you did not use all the same words at the beginning of the sentence. I think you did an amazing job thank you for sharing your amazing story.
Hey Mathew, my name is Khloey! I really liked your story it was very creative. You could add some commas, it would help your story a bit. Other than that you did a great job! Don’t stop writing! Have an amazing day!