The Iron Figure by Matthew

I was in Italy and bored, I decided to visit the iron figure. It was a 45 minute drive. So I got the bus at closest bus stop. The bus came, I got on and listened to music. We got they’re quicker then expected. There were a lot of tourists and the iron figure was soo sparkly and cool. A man suddenly came and started to grab the iron figure. The security guards and I tried to catch but he couldn’t I looked the down the other corner way and the Police came and cornered the man and flipped him and took the iron figure back and the police saved the day.

3 thoughts on “The Iron Figure by Matthew”

  1. Hi Matthew! Your story was very interesting and very actioned packed. I think one thing you could work on is maybe adding some commas to your story. I think it can help your story out a whole lot! But other than that, your story was perfect! Have a good day ~Sophie

  2. I really like the storyline, Mabey you could add a bit more details. I liked that most of the time you did not use all the same words at the beginning of the sentence. I think you did an amazing job thank you for sharing your amazing story.

  3. Hey Mathew, my name is Khloey! I really liked your story it was very creative. You could add some commas, it would help your story a bit. Other than that you did a great job! Don’t stop writing! Have an amazing day!

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