The Flight by Zach

One day there was a man called Mike. He was a pilot, he transported goods to different countries. One day he had to travel over to Egypt. It was the morning of the of the flight. He had presumed it was going to be a long flight. When he woke up he opened the big green curtains.

“AAAHHH” he screeched as the light blinded him.

“Gosh it’s very bright out”.

He left for the airport and the flight took off. During the flight Mike realised that he heard a beeping he was fraught with fear. He started shouting “MAY DAY! MAY DAY! WE’RE GOING DOWN”…

12 thoughts on “The Flight by Zach”

  1. Hi Zach,
    I really like your story because it’s about planes and I love planes.
    His eyes must of hurt as it is very hot.
    By For Now

    From Danny Mrs Boyce’s Class.

  2. Hi Zach
    I like the way that Mike was going to Egypt.
    I know what it feels like to wake up and light of the sun blinding you.
    Great work
    From Matthew D
    Mrs Boyce’s class
    Please comment on my story

  3. Hi Zach,
    Your story is really good! It talks about the hard life of a cargo pilot. The flight where he takes off and then starts to freak out is very intriguing. The sudden problem would make for a great story, where he crashes and has to live in the desert.


  4. Hello Zach,

    I really enjoy the topic of airplanes and flight, but I didn’t find your story to meet my expectations. I feel you could improve your story by keeping it in one setting, such as just the plane, or just preparations.

    From, Peter.

  5. Hello Zach,
    I really enjoyed your story, as it included the topic of airplanes. But, it would help to focus on one specific moment, since you only have 100 words to work with. Describing one specific moment would be great.

    From, J

  6. Hi Zach,
    I really enjoyed reading your story. I enjoyed how you added details that made it more interesting. I do feel that you could have left out some of the information in it. Overall though it was great.

  7. Hi Zach,
    Your prompt is very creative and I enjoyed reading. I would of liked the unimportant information to be left out. Great Job!

    From, Delia

  8. Hi, Zach I really enjoyed your story, it was funny to me. But, I think you should leave the unimportant details out and use better adjectives, make your story more clear.

  9. Hi Zach,
    Your story was very interesting and fun to read. But you could have left out some of those extra not needed details, but overall, your story was very good.

    From, Hunter

  10. Hello Zach,
    I loved some of your choices of vocabulary, presumed and fraught. Although I felt like ther was some details that were missing I could not paint a clear picture in my head for some parts.

    Your Freind,

  11. Hi Zach,
    I liked your writing it was a really great story, but i think there were a few things that you could ae done to improve your story. Like instead of using the world “called” you could have used named, or is name was,etc.I also think you could have used the word “he” a little bit less. Other than that i loved your work and it was a very great story,keep writing, I love it!

  12. Hi Zach,
    I really enjoyed reading your well thought out prompt. One thing you should improve is contributing to one setting , instead of many. Overall great work !

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