The Escape by Eden

“Don’t stop running“, shouted James, sprinting at max speed with friends close behind. They managed to find somewhere to catch their breath. “We have to hurry, I can hear them already”, said James’s little sister Lilly so they quickly ran off again. After another hour of running and stopping for air they found it. “It’s the castle professor Samson said about”, gasped Mike. They found a way in and found people who were friendly. James, Jake and Mike told them about the soldiers chasing them. The people got cannons armed, ready for when the soldiers would arrived. They were ready.

3 thoughts on “The Escape by Eden”

  1. hi Eden,
    I like that you continued on from one of your other storys. it really pulled me in.
    -Katherine GES at FMS Buddy class

  2. Hi Eden, this is a really action-packed adventure that you thought of. It sounds similar to the one I did. Maybe you could make a part 2 of this? It would make it eve n better! Hope I can see another one from you!

  3. This is an interesting story, Eden. I especially like how you ended it with a really short and dramatic sentence. The dialogue is a nice touch, though I think James’ shout at the beginning could use an exclamation mark. Still, I love how naturally the dialogue is mixed in with the action. You manage to say a lot with just a few words that way.

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