Red by Oliwia

“Ahh Jack you’re finally awake.”

I look up and find a tall red women standing over me with a smile on her face.

“I’m Selena your nurse”, she said.

I look around the room and realise everything around me is red, I sit up in panic but Selena sits me down.

“I see you’ve realised that red is the only colour you’re capable of seeing,” she said apologetically.

I stumble against words but finally say ,”but how?”

“Well it’s a long story,” she began, “but long story short you were involved in a terrible accident that took away your ability to see every colour but red.”

4 thoughts on “Red by Oliwia”

  1. Hello Oliwia, what an interesting idea! I wonder what it would be like to live in a world of red? It was good how you set the scene, explaining that it was a nurse responding to Jack. Just be careful with singular/plurals – one woman/two women, one man/two men. Well done.

  2. Hello Oliwia
    I liked your story a lot
    I liked the way that you used your words and the way you could only see red
    If I could only see red I would be happy because it is my favourite colour
    Bye for now Liam A Mrs Boyces class.

  3. Hi, Oliwia. I really loved your story because I liked how you explained the setting. How the nurse was being so calm, while Jack was panicking. If I could only see red, I would go crazy! Red is not the best color for me because it reminds me of unpleasant things. A suggestion I have is be careful of plural nouns. When it is only one, it is a woman. If it is two or more, it is women. Also, you put a comma on the outside of the quotation marks. The comma always goes inside the quotation marks. Other than that, your story was great! I would love to see more! I want to learn about what happens to Jack, now that he knows he can only see red.

Comments are closed.