Mr. TV. by Oliver

“Hide from Mr TV,Steve” said Mango.

“Maybe we can hide in that foliage” said Steve.

“Oo! No there’s a thug in the foliage and he looks dishevelled” said Mango.

” Look there’s a shop” said Steve.

When they got into the shop they noticed that it was a tv store, but it was too late.

“I will trap you in a tv Ha! Ha! Ha!”said Mr TV, the villian.

” Ooo! chucks! We seem to be in the tv!”said Mango.

“It looks like the tv is reverberate“said Steve.

“It worked it worked!”said Mr TV.

“No no!”said Mango

11 thoughts on “Mr. TV. by Oliver”

  1. Oliver,
    Your word choices are intriguing. I like the way the words ‘thug’ and ‘disheveled’ help to create the mood in your piece. Keep writing.
    Mrs. G., Team 100, Hub Buddy Teacher, Guilderland, NY, USA

  2. Oliver,
    Your word choices are intriguing.The whole story is funny and it moves the story on forwards.The speech is very good and i can paint a picture about this.

  3. Hi Oliver,
    I was wondering what happened next to Mango and Steve? I like the way you have used exclamation marks and the words ‘disheveled’ and ‘reverberate’. I like that you added laughter of Mr.TV. This story sounds very interesting and I would like to read further on. Very creative writing Oliver. Well done.
    Please visit our class blog at kidblog.org/class/misshalstead2018/posts
    From Lacey
    Bidston Avenue Primary School
    Wirral

  4. Hi Oliver,
    I thought your piece was really interesting plus the name choices . Although I like the use of dialogue in your writing I do think description and action are necessary. Fabulous work, I would love to know what happens in your next piece of writing! My friend and I are writing a book. Your character – Mango- has been inspired to be one of our characters!

    Check out my 100 word challenges too! https://kidblog.org/class/mrsillume2018/posts

  5. Oliver,
    I thought your piece was really good. I love your word choices, such as: dishevelled and reverberate. I look forwards to finding out what happens to Mango ( a great name choice by the way) and Steve. The idea of an evil man who sucks them into a TV is rather creative. We have decided to use your name- Mango- in our book as you have inspired us with your amazing imagination .Next time I would add a character or setting description as I would love to see what Mango and Steve would look like.

    Please check out our 100WC to on:
    https://kidblog.org/class/mrsillume2018/posts

  6. Hi Oliver
    That reminds me of a time when I watched a tv show and got sucked into a tv.
    You used some great vocabulary words for example dishevelled.
    Great use of the prompt.
    Well done
    From Matthew D
    Mrs Boyce’s class

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