Ice Cream by Niamh

It was Friday. I was going to get ice- cream for a treat with my family. We were going to a place called Pappagallino. When we got there it reminded me of a time when I was getting ice-cream on holidays. I picked out watermelon flavour ice-cream because it’s my favourite! Meanwhile the lady came back and said “ do you what any toppings?” I said “ yes please”! Could I have watermelon jellies, unicorn sprinkles and flakes please. After the ice-cream we went for a nice walk around the harbour. We saw lots of boats coming in with fish that they caught. Then we went home after such a great day

2 thoughts on “Ice Cream by Niamh”

  1. Hi Niamh,
    Great story! This is the first story I’ve read about an ice cream related memory. Your story reminded me of going to the seaside as well. Well done on using correct punctuation and grammar throughout. Keep up the good work.
    Michael (Team 100wc), Coventry, UK

  2. Hi Niamh,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a sentence – ‘it reminded me of a time when.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, time out with family. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a domestic setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of family is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people will have experienced having to spend time with family, over the weekend or holidays at some pint in their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also enjoyed spending time with family, relishing in the opportunity to enjoy each others company and share stories of how we’ve been and what we’ve been up to. Going to get ice cream indeed is also a favourite of mine! By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that they went out on a Friday (I love the weekend too), you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how the ice cream parlour was called Pappagallino, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece continues to develop, as the character enjoys getting their ice cream. This keeps the reader on board with the piece and their taste buds rolling. I personally love ice cream so this was a great read for me! The character grabs their favourite flavour, watermelon, which is a very unique choice. The use of the other character offering toppings is really authentic and makes the piece even more believable. The use of the prompt in remembering back to a similar time on holiday is really effective. The ending of walking around the harbour and seeing all the boats docking in ends the piece on a really scenic note. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of exclamation marks. Keep up the good work!

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