Halloween Night by Aaron

One spooky Halloween night my friends and I went trick or treating. And on our like 10,000 house we had an idea and we went into my house but when we got there, there was like 100 pumpkins but there was only one orange one. I said why are you here the orange one spoke first he said we came here for a sleepover. I was like well me and my friends are having one so you can join us too. So we went to the sitting room and watched a movie with popcorn and drinks after we fell asleep half way through and then we woke up in the morning for breakfast.

2 thoughts on “Halloween Night by Aaron”

  1. Kia ora Aaron.
    The opening sentence of your piece this week really sets the scene for the story. Perhaps you could have spent a little more time planning what was going to come next so that the story continued in that way.

    Something that you could think about for the future, is to remember that when you are writing in a formal way like this, it should be different to the way you might tell the story face to face to someone else. I think if you read a novel, you will not find the author continually describing something with the word ‘LIKE’ in front of statements.
    Ms M #100WC

  2. to Aaron
    Dear Aaron I really like your story but you didn´t really get me to be there when it happened but besides all of that really nice story.
    do you like writing story´s!!!
    From Liam

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