100 w/c Zach

One sunny day when my family and I went on a trip to Corck and for a big wedding.

We stopped for something hot to eat and drink a soft drink at Mc Donals it reminded

me of a time when,we all had to eat before we went to the airport.On the way to Corck

we saw a lot of big white sheep,brown black and white horses and very big cows. It

Toock two long hours but we got there in the end , the hotel we stayed it was

Wonderful. We got to see our cousins Rory and Lorca their parents were getting married. After the party we went to see my mom’s friend that lives in Corck after we went home we all said goodbye to everyone.

2 thoughts on “100 w/c Zach”

  1. Hi Zach,
    Well done on your piece. It sounds like a lovely memory, was it real? Your road trip sounds like fun although I am not a fan of McDonalds so I wouldn’t want to eat that on my road trip! Next time, make sure you read your writing out loud before you post as this will help you to know where to put the capital letters and full stops.
    Keep up the good work!

    Ciara (Team 100)

  2. Hi Zach,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a sentence – ‘it reminded me of a time when.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, a trip to a wedding. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a domestic setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of weddings is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people have experienced going to weddings of family or friends at some point in their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also enjoyed having weddings, relishing the opportunity to see family and friends you haven’t seen in a while, and almost escaping from everyday life for a brief period of time. There have been lots of weddings in my family! By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that it was a big wedding, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how you stopped at McDonalds to eat on the way (my favourite is a double cheeseburger), demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece continues to develop, as the character describes similar journeys on the motorway. Just as the character is remembering, it makes the reader too remember similar times. It made me remember of all those long journeys with family, where you quickly stop at the service station for a bite to eat. With the character waiting before they go to the airport, you create a very realistic setting of waiting around before getting on the aeroplane. Seeing lots of animals like sheep and cows on the side of the road gives the piece a really authentic feel. The ending of arriving at the wedding after two long hours gives a real sense of relief and finality to the piece, and seeing your friends and family really end the piece on a happy note. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of full stops. Keep up the good work!

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