100 w/c – Oliver

Ones upon a time there was a person named Jack.

Always on Halloween he wondered what was behind the door and he gets it wrong every time.

This time he thinks he will get it right, but will he?

This year he was dressing up as a Jack-o-lantern.

Jack went to the first house and gets the question wrong but he still get candy.

He went to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 10th and 20th houses and he gets it wrong, like always.

At least he gets delicious candy.

One thought on “100 w/c – Oliver”

  1. Hi Oliver,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a phrase which evokes a mystery, ‘I wondered what was behind the door.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a domestic setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. The theme of Halloween is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people will have experienced either trick or treating on their own or with friends or family, or watching Halloween films at some point in their lives. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have enjoyed watching such films like this before, relishing in the chance to unwind and be shocked by some really nail biting moments. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that it was Halloween, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like the fact that the character’s name was Jack, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. Emphasis on the irony of his costume, that he is dressed as a Jack o Lantern, fully fleshes out your point and makes it very apparent for the reader. The piece continues to develop, as we hear that the character is really unlucky with guessing what will be behind the doors when trick or treating. While pretty abstract, this is fairly realistic as when you go trick or treating it is almost impossible not to try and have a guess as to who or what will be behind the door when it is opened, adding to the sense of suspense. The ending that while he is poor at guessing, he still gets to eat delicious candy is a great redeemer and adds some comedy to the end of the piece. Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of sentencing. Keep up the good work!

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