100 w/c – Cian

One day I was doing my homework minding my own business when suddenly the ground started to shake. I was scared. The ground started to move again so I decided to climb to the top of my house because I thought it would be safe up there. As I started to climb out my window I saw it was blocked by a massive tree so I decided to stay inside my house. This reminded me of a time I was watching a video with my class about an earth quake in Hawaii. Eventually it stopped. I was so happy I survived but the bad thing was I still had to finish my homework!

3 thoughts on “100 w/c – Cian”

  1. Hi Cian,
    This is a really nice piece, a great use of the prompt! This week’s prompt is a sentence – ‘it reminded me of a time when.’ Bringing visual effect to the words, you describe a setting which follows a character in a domestic setting, time at home that has turned suspenseful. By setting out the plot early in the piece, a domestic setting, you create a structure which gives the piece stability and puts the reader in the centre of the action. Using this makes the reader feel attached to the piece, and makes them more engaged. This makes the piece interesting right from the start. This theme of homework is one that many will be familiar with, even in their own personal lives, as most people will have experienced having to do homework or having been set homework at some point in their lives, at school by a teacher. This makes it very relatable to the reader. This makes the reader imagine such a visual description of the setting as a whole. I can relate to this too as I have also had plenty of homework to complete over my lifetime, at school, sixth form, on my own or in groups, written or presentational. There are so many variants that some are even interesting and fun. By explaining clearly the atmosphere, that the character was minding their own business, you engage with the reader and add to the setting. You use imagery which fits perfectly with the setting. Bringing in specific information like how the ground started to shake suddenly, demonstrates great imagination. This puts the reader in the front of the story, and this really makes you focus on the piece. The piece continues to develop, as the character is scared and is left in a really dangerous predicament. This keeps the reader engrossed in the piece and wondering what will happen. I personally would have felt very worried in this situation! The character goes to climb to the roof in hopes of getting a better view but is blocked. With the character remembering back to a time when they saw a documentary on earthquakes, it really contextualises the scenario for the reader. The use of the prompt in remembering back to that time is really effective. The ending of finally being safe is a big relief for the reader, and the line of comic relief in the end that homework will still need to be done is really effective! Good use of grammar and punctuation too, especially your use of exclamation marks. Keep up the good work!

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