100 w/c by Nathan

Jack and Jill were trying to find Jill’s hat. You must be saying it’s just a hat. No, it was Jill’s favourite hat in the whole world. Her dad gave it to her 5 years a go. She will be very, very sad if she lost it and she did.

But were did it go she shouted?

Did you check the your room?

Yes I did.

The attic?


Your mam’s room?

No! I will check now.

Ah! ha! I found it, thanks Jack.

You’re welcome Jill.

So what do you want to now?

I don’t know …. I’ll see.

2 thoughts on “100 w/c by Nathan”

  1. I like the way you chose a pair of very familiar names for this story, as it automatically gives a backstory for your characters. Whether they were meant to be the same characters from the nursery rhyme a reader will add in the details. That said, I was surprised by the sentence ‘Your mam’s room as in my mind they were brother and sister, but surprising a reader is never a bad thing.

  2. I think you forgot to say do in the second to last sentence. It looks like Jack cares a lot for Jill.

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