100 w/c by Bartosz

I woke up early today. Today I was going to Halfords, to get a new bicycle, I was desperate to get a new one because everyone was getting new bicycle. ‘Dad what time are we leaving”, I said.’ In 30mins’ 30mins later we left. It took us a while to get there , but when we came into the vicinity of the shop came in my dad told me ‘don’t be greedy and buy an expensive one with all the money you have” you’ll regret told him I was looking for a back and yellow Subradar. I was over the moon when I came home.

2 thoughts on “100 w/c by Bartosz”

  1. Hello, you have been able to show just how excited the character was to get the new bike. Your first sentence immediately gives a clue that something interesting is going to happen. It makes the reader keen to read on so they can find out. I can clearly see the big smile on the face of your character at the end of the story.

    1. Hi, I liked your story but there were a lot of errors. Like when you had a run on sentence at the beginning. Keep up the good work.

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