100 w/c – Darragh

I ran out of the abandoned house while catching my breath. I heard a strange noise coming from the house I wondered what was behind the door. I remember it was the spirit of the house. I ran down the street and went home. I got the key and opened it and went inside. I ran upstairs and went to my room. BANG! BANG! I ran downstairs and answered the door nobody was there. I went back to my room then I heard it again BANG! BANG! I ran downstairs and opened the door a man stood there in a cloak…

2 thoughts on “100 w/c – Darragh”

  1. Hello Darragh, this is certainly an action-packed story. I could almost hear the breathlessness of your character as they ran from one place to another. It is interesting, isn’t it, that a man in a “cloak” seems much more scarier than a man just in a suit, so well done on your choice of language.

  2. Great job Darragh! I loved how mystirous it was. These are the kinds of stories I read! A glow I would give is that you used such impressive words! A grow I would give is just use a comma in this sentance, I went back to my room and heard it again ( i would use a comma right here) BANG! I loved it. I have one question for you. Did you read Serafina and the Black Cloak?

    Srimukha, Hub buddy, USA

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